


Equivalent Exchange

by PhoenixAccio



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Child Death, Gen, Gore, Vomiting, awful awful angst, im so sorry, it's kind of graphic sorry guys, not really - Freeform, sorry if this is totally incoherent i tried, this is the worst possible ending for fullmetal alchemist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 05:34:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16423367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixAccio/pseuds/PhoenixAccio
Summary: Sometimes when you get something back before immediately having it snatched away, it's worse than if it was never returned in the first place.Never let it be said that Truth was forgiving.





	Equivalent Exchange

Edward dragged the chalk across the cold, cement floor, finishing the transmutation circle. Although he technically could have done this without the manually drawn matrix, he wanted to make sure the details were correct, and it just seemed fitting to end this the same way it started.

He straightened up once the final line was complete, looking around the dimly lit room. Just like before, all those years ago, the room he stood in was small and dark, cold as the cellar that led into it. In the centre of the room was a complex transmutation circle. Ed stood on the side he just finished, just outside the intricate drawing, and the suit of armour which held his brother's soul stood opposite.

Al's eyes, glowing like the dying embers of a long extinguished fire, met Ed's, and he spoke.

"Are you done, Ed?" he asked, his voice still high like a child's despite the years. Ed supposed there was no reason for his brother's voice to have deepened, without connection to vocal cords his age would normally affect.

Yeah, it's finished," Ed replied. At this, Al stepped carefully over the chalk outlines to the centre of the circle, his metal feet clanking against the hard basement floor. Al sat down, careful not to smudge anything, and looked trustingly up at his brother.

"Okay."

Ed nodded decisively, and kneeled again at the side of the matrix. He took a deep breath, looking back up at his brother one last time. Al gave him a nervous thumbs-up, and Ed looked back at the circle before him. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking another breath and holding it, before letting it out through his mouth in a huff. This was it, he was just stalling at this point. In a few minutes either Al would have his original body back, or--

Well, Ed didn't want to think about what failure would mean. He tried to push it out of his mind, but couldn't help the image of that _thing_ they'd created when they'd tried to resurrect their mother. Ed swallowed, and, before he could change his mind, slapped his hands against the floor and activated the transmutation. Ed caught a glimpse of red lightning, outlining the chalk on the ground and crackling over the metallic form of his brother. Then, the ground opened up, an enormous eye bisecting the transmutation circle, and the ground was swallowed up as everything went white.

*

When Ed opened his eyes, it took a moment for them to adjust to the pure white all around him. His ears rang and his eyes burned and teared up slightly, like the after-effects of a flash-bang. Ed rubbed his hand over his face, pressing at his eyelids like a child pretending he wasn't as tired as he was.

As the world came into focus, Ed grinned, determined. He had made it. He was back in the whiteness of the Gate world. Sure enough, he looked up to the sight of a white being with his arm and leg, floating in the immeasurable void before him. The being's expression mirrored Ed's smile, but warped. Empty, somehow.

"Truth," Ed spoke, his voice echoing against the nothing.

"Edward," it replied. Its voice did not echo like Ed's had. It seemed to come from everywhere at once, layering over itself in a terrible, impossible way. "You're back."

"I'm back," Ed confirmed. "Give me my brother."

"Your brother? That's a pretty big request, pal. You sure you're willing to pay?"

"I know I am. I understand now. I know the price."

"You do?"

Ed nodded. "Alchemy made him this way, only alchemy can bring him back."

"You got it." The thing smiled again, and disappeared, the enormous gilded door from all those years ago appearing in his stead. Ed stepped forward, and pressed his hand against the door. It swung open immediately, thousands of scratching black arms pulling Ed into the dark. He smiled.

*

Ed came back to his body kneeling on the floor where he had been before. There was no sign that anything except--

Except the body in the centre of the circle.

Al's armour was gone, and in its place was something small and mangled.

Ed's eyes widened, and he gasped, scrambling frantically to the centre of the transmutation circle, smudging the chalk in his panic to get to that _thing_ on the floor that _should_ have been Al.

When Ed got to it, it took him a moment to process what he was seeing, to even identify it as human. When he finally really _saw_ the thing in his lap, he chokedback a scream. In his lap was the tiny, frail, rotting form of a ten year old child.

In his lap was Al.

"No!" came Ed's strangled cry, tumbling out without his consent. "No, no, no, no, no, Al, Al!"

He sobbed, staring down at his brother's mangled corpse. He could hardly process what he was seeing, but even through the heavy layer of shock, Ed's inner alchemist was screaming that of _course_ this was what happened. Al had been trapped in that place for years, with no food or water or anything else. It was some kind of miracle he wasn't just bones right now. This thought didn't help matters much. Ed gasped for breath, and turned away from his brother's body.

(he's gone, he's gone)

to vomit. Ed knelt on his hands and knees shaking and crying as his stomach turned itself inside out. The food was gone now, all that was coming up was acid, and eventually Ed let himself fall sideways and _scream,_ animalistic and as loud as he could. All those years, all that time _searching_ for nothing, to bring back the twisted corpse of a boy long dead.

Wait.

Over his shoulder, Ed heard a wer gasp. He tripped over himself trying clumsily to get back to his brother, who was somehow, impossibly, still there.

"Al! Al! Alphonse!"

The tiny corpse on the floor turned its sunken, rotted eyes on Ed.

"Edward," Al forced out, the word clumsy in his decayed mouth.

"Al!" Ed screamed.

Against all logic, Ed clapped his hands together, amd slammed them down against the floor. His brother was still here, he could fix this! But nothing happened. Ed clapped again, slapping his hands down trying, trying, trying to heal Al, trying to _fix_ him.

Deep down, Ed knew it was no use. He gave his alchemy up to bring his brother back, and now, when he needed it to save him, it was gone. He sobbed, amd tried again.

"Ed," Al gasped again, almost too quiet to hear. "Ed, you can't, it's no use."

"No!" Edward screamed, still trying desperately to get his alchemy to work, "No, I'm not gonna stop! I can't stop!"

"You have to," Al choked, coughing violently, his putrifying blood splattering across Ed's face. "You have to let me go, Ed, it's too late."

"No!" Ed gasped desperately.

"Big brother," Al whispered, and looked into his brother's eyes. "Please."

Ed sobbed as he finally stopped, entire body shaking as he held the boy in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Al," he cried, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I promised to save you!"

Ed could barely spit out his next words. "I killed you."

Al's words came softly, but there was power behind them. "You didn't kill me, Ed, I was already dead."

He raised his decayed hand to Ed's tear-damp face.

"It's okay," Al whispered in his older brother's ear. "Goodbye."

The moment Al went limp, Ed let out his loudest cry yet.

"No!" he screamed, as his brother fell to the floor. Al was gone, for good this time. He wasn't coming back. As this knowledge sunk in, Ed felt himself go blank. Quiet.

When he had first returned from the Gate, he'd still had hope that he'd be getting his brother back, that it would be fine. When that had been torn away, the blow had been devastating. The return and consequent destruction of that last ray of hope had been the final blow. It had shattered him, and there was no going back.

It was fitting, in some twisted, ironic way. Al had died, and Ed? He died with him, in spirit, if not in body.

Edward wished he could have gone with his brother permanently.


End file.
